is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
