He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
