She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
