I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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