Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
me + whiskey = a bad person
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
