It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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