I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
