just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
