There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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