So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Drake has all the answers
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize