Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
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