I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
