I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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