She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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