People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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