Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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