i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
