I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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