did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
