Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
