"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
