Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
