It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
