I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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