she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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