I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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