I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
