This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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