we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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