I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
