dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My vagina just clenched in fear
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
