my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
