dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
