Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
