i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
