did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
