I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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