Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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