this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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