hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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