.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
