I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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