So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
