he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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