Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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