You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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