So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
