Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
