turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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