It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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