I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
